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i hate university

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i hate university

Mars

Member
Oct 7, 2019
14
3
i have been in my first year of university for little over a month now, and i already hate it.

it's a shame, i worked my ass off to get here, i absolutely love the course, but every other aspect of university is completely awful.

i feel like an outsider in my halls; sure, we get along just fine, but i just feel so uncomfortable with sitting and socialising with anyone, i instead spend all my time in my room. because of which, amongst *other* things, i cannot sleep - this makes it so i am constantly exhausted, turning me into the downer of every single night out. so, naturally, i don't get invited to things as much anymore, making it so i get to relive my high school years in listening to everyone make plans right infront of me, and then deciding to just ignore the fact that i had been there the entire time, thus leaving me to spend more time alone, sitting in my dorm, crying whilst playing on the ps4 (9k for this!!).

i have no friends whatsoever, minus some of my flatmates, which makes actually university an incredibly depressing experience. i have nobody to speak to in my breaks, my lectures, my seminars, my tutorials. i spend my contact hours in complete silence, because even when i have tried to talk to people, i have been ignored.

this, as well as the move itself, and preexisting family issues, has took a major toll on my mental health. i spend most of my days feeling miserable, i overthink things to the point where i am sobbing my eyes out, all i want to do is spend the whole day in bed (which has resulted in me missing a lot of lectures already). it just ****ing sucks. however, i am completely incapable of asking for help as i feel like i am either wasting someone's time, or completely over reacting to a situation.

by starting this Huge Chapter In My Life!2!! i have ****ed my mental health up, and isolated myself so much, all whilst feeling like i have to constantly be wearing a brave face whenever a relative asks me about it.

i ****ing hate it.
 

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